This quote from Waking Life has popped into my head quite a bit recently:
I can remember thinking, “Oh, someday, like in my mid-thirties maybe, everything’s going to just somehow gel and settle, just end.” It was like there was this plateau, and it was waiting for me, and I was climbing up it, and when I got to the top, all growth and change would stop. Even exhilaration. But that hasn’t happened like that, thank goodness. I think that what we don’t take into account when we’re young is our endless curiosity. That’s what’s so great about being human.
I feel like a lot of my time has been spent climbing toward some philosophical or ideological plateau – some time and place where there is no more need to philosophize, where everything has been solved for eternity. Where I’d have the answer to every metaphysical and ethical dilemma. That’s what used to intrigue me about Christianity. Things were concrete, they were set in stone for all time. There’s a certain comfort to that. But the older I get, the more I realize that everything is in a constantly changing process with everything else. I will never be finished with philosophy. I don’t think that would even be possible. The nature of this universe – of perception, of time and change – can produce infinite results. So I guess I’m not climbing toward anything really. But life’s about the journey, not the destination, right? What I do know is that I am growing and changing. To what end? God only knows.