The Aging Paradox

This quote from Waking Life has popped into my head quite a bit recently:

I can remember thinking, “Oh, someday, like in my mid-thirties maybe, everything’s going to just somehow gel and settle, just end.” It was like there was this plateau, and it was waiting for me, and I was climbing up it, and when I got to the top, all growth and change would stop. Even exhilaration. But that hasn’t happened like that, thank goodness. I think that what we don’t take into account when we’re young is our endless curiosity. That’s what’s so great about being human.

I feel like a lot of my time has been spent climbing toward some philosophical or ideological plateau – some time and place where there is no more need to philosophize, where everything has been solved for eternity. Where I’d have the answer to every metaphysical and ethical dilemma. That’s what used to intrigue me about Christianity. Things were concrete, they were set in stone for all time. There’s a certain comfort to that. But the older I get, the more I realize that everything is in a constantly changing process with everything else. I will never be finished with philosophy. I don’t think that would even be possible. The nature of this universe – of perception, of time and change – can produce infinite results. So I guess I’m not climbing toward anything really. But life’s about the journey, not the destination, right? What I do know is that I am growing and changing. To what end? God only knows.

Dream is Destiny

Sanity is a madness put to good uses; waking life is a dream controlled. The worst mistake that you can make is to think you’re alive when really you’re asleep in life’s waiting room. I would say that life understood is life lived. But the paradoxes bug me, and I can learn to love and make love to the paradoxes that bug me. And on really romantic evenings of self, I go salsa dancing with my confusion. Before you drift off, don’t forget. Which is to say, remember. Because remembering is so much more a psychotic activity than forgetting. Lorca in that same poem said that the iguana will bite those who do not dream. And as one realizes that one is a dream figure in another person’s dream, that is self-awareness. You haven’t met yourself yet. But the advantage to meeting others in the meantime is that one of them may present you to yourself.

Waking Life Movie

Waking Life Movie Transcript

Super perfundo on the early eve of your day.